‘Chennai Express’ Movie Review: Derailed. Completely.

 

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Chennai Express was so shamelessly over promoted that the film was quite anti-climatic in comparison. But then again, does the script matter when you have Shahrukh ‘pompous’ Khan shake his booty with Deepika ‘long-legs-hot-bod’ Padukone and Rohit ‘action’ Shetty helming the affair? The makers of this movie definitely think so.

Chennai Express is the story of Rahul who is supposed to spread half of his Dadaji’s ashes at Rameshwaram while his Dadi is willing to take the other half to the Ganga, as per Dadaji’s wishes (how weird is that – but then again, if Rahul didn’t travel south, there would be no ‘Chennai’ Express). But what about the fun Goa plan with hot girls and dizzy nights? Rahul obviously chooses Goa over Rameshwaram, but can’t break poor Dadi’s trust. Bingo! In a flash of genius someone discovers that if the ashes are immersed in Goan waters, they would flow directly to Rameshwaram. (Screw you, Geography). So Rahul decides to deceive Dadi (don’t give a damn if she raised your 40-year-old-ass) and climbs aboard the Chennai Express, with the intention of climbing off midway and making that road trip to Goa.

Fate takes an unexpected turn and parody pops her head when Rahul helps Meenamma (Deepika) board a running train in classic DDLJ style. What follows is 43 seconds of humour which give you some hope to sit through the rest of the movie. However, you are simply reduced to watching a mumbo-jumbo of thrash-worthy, mind-numbingly lame attempts at comedy.

1)      If Meenamma is running away from her family, why is she running to board a train that will take her right to her doorstep? (Screw you, Logic)

2)      Why would a common man fall in love with a Don’s daughter whose cousins don’t think twice before throwing the TC out of a running train?

3)      Why is quarter of the movie in Tamil without any subtitles? (I left my brains home before coming to the theatre dude, don’t make me tediously draw my own conclusions)

 

chennai_express_poster-HDShahrukh Khan has put loads of effort in his over-acting. You fell in love every time Raj spouted romantic dialogues to his love, and felt hopeless when Rahul had to face trouble from his lady’s parents. It is sad to see the once fine actor being reduced to such extensive hamming that you cringe every moment he appears on screen. There is even a scene where he has a completely deranged conversation with a squinted midget who talks in various patterns of ‘Tok-toks’! Hope this is just a phase. We want more from the actor who delivered believable performances in Swades, Chak De and the likes.

 

chennai_350_073113062016Deepika as Meena is cute. Her thick gibberish accent and thick well-applied eyeliner are the only likeable things in the movie. Never mind if the accent gets a bit too irritating towards the end, especially in the emotional scenes. But this girl sure makes lungis look hot!

Rohit Shetty fails to relive the magic of his Golmaal series with the half-baked and half-hearted Chennai Express. Cars chasing, cars crashing, cars exploding – you’ve seen all that before. The dialogues have been shamelessly borrowed from Shahrukh’s previous movies like Baazigar, Koyla, Dil Se and My Name Is Khan. There are moments of respite such as the antakshari sequences which elicit a rare moment of chuckle. However, these are not enough to carry the weight of the movie on their weak shoulders. The story is extremely predictable, the romance forced, the acting shabby and the music forgettable (except ‘I,2,3,4 Get on the dance floor’…quite catchy that one).

C’mon guys, we’ve seen you do better! In the meanwhile, the audience will definitely be excused for missing this train.

 

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